Parenting: A Learning Experience

Parenting can be difficult. There is so much conflicting information out there. Everyone thinks whatever their approach is, it is the best. You could be walking down the aisle at the grocery store and some woman could come up to you and tell you you're holding your child wrong, or you should only feed them orange food. I have found the best approach is to raise the child to be prepared for the culture in which they live.

As I was searching The New York Times website for articles on parenting, I came across a book review entitled "The Only Baby Book You'll Ever Need" by Michael Erard. His theory, based off of David F. Lancy’s “The Anthropology of Childhood: Cherubs, Chattel, Changelings,” is that no matter how the child is raised, as long as the parent raises the child to survive in their culture they will be fine.

In other research I found that the impact of the parent on the child is greater than they may imagine. In "Help Me Play! Parental Behaviors, Child Temperament, and Preschool Peer Play" Gagnon and others examined the effect of different parenting styles on how well the child was able to socialize with others in their first interaction with other children in preschool. This experiment's results proved that the more encouraging the interactions of parent to child, the more likely the child will exhibit self-control and be able to fit the expectations and the culture of other preschool children.

I also found a commercial by Johnson's Baby that captured the impact of the child on moms specifically. This was a mother's day campaign of several new mothers with their new babies, they were all bathing or changing diapers and other type activities that would involve Johnson's Baby products. This commercial encourages moms of newborns who are trying to become the perfect mother that they are “doing ok” and however they are raising their child, the child is pleased with their mother. In a way this argues that the purpose of mothers is not only to raise the child and care for it, they need to appease the child’s every need. This moves into the overprotective part of the parenting discourse. How much protect is enough? 

The child's perspective of the parents is impacted by outside sources as well. Sources such as popular TV shows and celebrities. In the early years of Disney channel, at least when I was growing up, I found most if not all their shows to be enjoyable and tasteful. Shows such as Kim Possible gave the parents intelligent jobs and important figures in the family tree.

The children were respectful of their parents and were punished for doing something wrong. In more recent shows, such as Good Luck Charlie the parent's roles are diminished.

The father is portrayed as almost stupid and has no power in the household. The children have little respect for their parents and the show gives many examples of the children defying the parents and disrespecting them. Hannah Montana for example told kids they could betray their friends, lie to their parents, and be rude to their siblings and everything would turn out fine and everyone would forgive them... which is not always the case.

Raising children can prove to be a difficult task no matter the culture it takes place in. It involves a great deal of experimenting and learning from experiences. For the parents, it means learning the perfect mix of holding their hands, and letting them explore on their own. It requires accepting the rituals of a personal culture, understanding why those traditions are in place and teaching the children how to survive in this particular culture. In all cultures, children are raised in many ways, and they all end as adults who will pass on the traditions of their cultures to their own children.